The Extant

 “Can I lay by your side?”

Yaeba! I love that smile, unravelling those double tooth of hers. It melts my heart like a hot chocolate lava cake.

 Did you ever come across one girl; never lose her!

“Go home”

“No...I am here now. I will be next to you; take care of you. I will make sure you are all right”

Smiling she says “I will be fine”

*******************************************************************************

Manish: “I have one weird observation”

Me:“Oh god”

Manish: “What?”

Me: “No...Nothing; you may continue”

Manish: “Yeah, so you know we are good friends right.”

Me: “Is that even a question?”

Manish: “He he...right; But think of the scenario of girls”

Me: “Uh huh...I am listening”

Manish: “I mean consider those three girls there...they seem to be very good friends like us...good friends”

I knew about which three girls he was talking about. I had been looking at them since the moment we arrived here.

Me: “What is your point?”

Manish: “Not yet”

Me: “I guess that’s okay?”

Manish: “It surely is...now if am not wrong, wherever they go, you would always find them together 

right?”

Me: “Yes maybe?”

Manish: “It surely is. Again those girls would surely have their boyfriends”

Me: “And what makes you say that?”

What’s with boyfriends? It is like those spoiler alerts which you never want to hear until you have seen the actual movie!

Manish: “Oh...don’t get your hopes up. Have you looked at them? Beautiful, fair girls are rarely single and the way they are giggling; they surely are one pair each.”

Me: “Umm...so?”

Manish: “So the boyfriends become good friends too cause they have their girlfriends to impress to right?”

You too agree right?

Me: “What choice do they have?”

Manish was smiling sheepishly.

Me: “What’s so funny about it?”

Manish: “Funny, because it is never the other way around!”

Me:“Man!”

It took some brief moment to grasp his thought process.

Manish: “What a weird thought right?”

Me: “Yeah...it sounds more like you need some kind of help, like thought!”

Manish: “He he...it just crossed my mind”

Me: “God...what more crosses your mind?”

Manish: “Many more weird things I suppose...he he”

Me: “So why did you call me here?”

Manish: “First you take me to my wife. I have a birthday to celebrate!”

“Oh...yes” I forgot but it’s nice to play like you remember it.

I carried him from the bench to the wheel chair nearby.

It’s been four years since the day he lost his legs. Saving one’s life...my life; by putting him on the line.

Me: “Damn, you are so heavy”

Manish: “Put me down then...I can even crawl and get up. No problem”

Sometimes we just utter out the first thing that comes to your mind without thinking about who we 

are with, how would they perceive your thoughts. Same happened with Manish.

Me: “Umm...I didn’t mean to...”

Perhaps he understood that I was trying to joke around or it was getting a bit embarrassing for both of us.

Manish: “Yeah...fine. Just put me back in my chair, fast. She should still be sleeping when I return home.”

****************************************************************************

Leaning against the back of the chair, he clutched his chest as he coughed and battled for breath. He had never experienced anything like this before. It felt like he had a blockage in his airways and he couldn’t take in any air.

Feeing numb, he found an urgent sense of purpose for he knew he must call the hospital where he knew she lay gravely ill.

 “I am sorry. We tried our best”

The Doctor’s words pierced straight through his heart. The heart which was grasping for air was suddenly not grasping anything at all.

Numbness kicked in and suddenly there was no meaning of life at all.

Manish: "Hey, sit down for a moment”

Me: "What are you talking about..sh..sh..” Unable to control the tears I let it loose. Manish understood too.  

Anger, confusion came along.

Me: "All this is my fault. I should have been there”

Manish: “Gaurav, it’s not your fault. Now sit down for a moment and listen to me carefully”

Me: “Sit down? How the hell can I sit down now? What are you even taking about?"

I barged out of the hospital having no clue to what I was up to. It felt like a dream that I needed to desperately wake up from. Everything seemed so unreal around me.

I could hear the distant “Gaurav...Gaurav” plea from Manish. I was completely losing it. My head started to spin.

Perhaps I was getting a stroke or I was close to death for I felt a bright light before me. It felt like the gates of heaven were opening for me. I would be together with Akshatha again. I spread my hands wide open for her to embrace me again.

Then a sudden jolt changed everything. I was pushed away five to six feet from my place of embracement. I felt cheated. But then I slowly came to senses; the sight was hazy no more. I could see a carrier truck beside me with Manish some thirty meters away.

Shocked over what I had caused, I struggled to get up and then rushed back to him. He was still breathing with his eyes open. Whispering to me he says:

“I can’t feel my legs”

I would never forgive myself over what I had caused to Manish and everyone around me.

**********************************************************************

“Happy Birthday” we sang in unison.

Smita was overjoyed over her husband giving her the surprise.

Smita: “I love it”

Manish: “Well...anything for you hon.”

It isn’t unusual for events in your everyday routine to trigger a strong emotional reaction, because different events can be reminders that your loved one is no longer with you.

The same happened when I was standing there watching Manish and Smita celebrating with their two lovely kids. Putting a smile on their family is the least thing I can do or at least be a part of it.

I joined them soon.

Me: “I am sorry I could not bring any present”

Smita: “Ahh...no present from family Gaurav. You are my sweet brother”

I smiled vaguely.

Suddenly, Smita came up with a beautifully coloured thread and tied it around my wrist.

Me: “What’s that for?”

Smita: “Today is Raksha bandhan too!”

I felt embarrassed now.

Me: “I am a terrible brother”

Manish (laughing): “Indeed you are”

Me: “Again, I am sorry I have nothing to give you right now”

Smita: “Oh...again? I am telling you I don’t want anything”

Me (smiling): “Fine”

Smita paused for a while and then spoke: “But still as a sister I should get something in return right?”

Me: “Oh...yes...umm...you should”

Smita: “hmmm”

Me: “hmm what?”

Smita: “Let me think”

She looked at Manish and they both nodded in agreement. I was not getting it.

Me: “Tell me what can I give you in return?”

Smita: “There is something I...in fact we want you to do”

Me: “Uhuh...to do what?”

Smita: “I want you to be happy”

It was clear now. Do I not look happy? Yes I clearly do. But deep down it was never the same after Akshatha. I know it and they too feel it.

She continued: “All we want from you is to settle down now. I will be good for you”

Me: “hmmm”

Smita: “You you will keep it as a promise right? Brothers should never back away from their promise(s)”

Me: “I will think about it”

Manish: “You realise losing her was not your fault right?”

Me: “Yes; but at the same time I can’t forgive myself for past mistakes”

There was a hush between us.

Manish: “Guilt is a poison Gaurav. See I am still whole right. My life has never been wonderful like this now. So why are you letting yourself down?”

Me:  “I don’t know”

Manish: “You know I forgave you a long time ago”

Me: “Thank you Manish”

Manish: “But not for what you did the other day!”

Me: “huh...about what?”

Manish: “About what? Dude you rejected Avantika!”

Me: “Oh...that...he he...she is a weird girl”

Manish: “Common man...even I would have hit on her”

Smita(unimpressed) : “Hit on what?”

And we all shared a laugh.

Smiles are contagious; you catch it like flu.

So start smiling and laughing as much as you can. Have a hearty laugh over every amusing situation. Laugh even at yourself and smile at the simplest pleasures in your life.

Because a smile is a curve that sets everything straight...wink ;)