Get Well Soon

"Anticipate the day as if it was your birthday and you are turning six again"

"And why would I do that?"

"Just think na (coughs)"

"Umm...ok...accha done"

"So...what do feel?"

It was a brief pause...how to anticipate what's already happened to us before and it will never come back! It was illogcal but you can't say that to 'her'. I think she anticipated my inanticipation and she continued..

"You are the dumbest guy in the world! oh...(coughing)"

"Are you ok ?...you seem not so well"

There's always an escape point from an argument. Remember even the mightiest of warriors have that tiny weakness in their armor.

"Like you care...no calls...even no Whatsapp for days...what is it?"

"For that I am really sorry...I was into some pressure in office...had to do extra night shifts"

"Hmm..."

Whatever problem you tell her she seems not satisfied. Aisha is her name.

We met at school.I don't remember the exact time but it was around, in the middle of academic year of class seven. She was beautiful, irresistibly hot and hence like every other classmate and seniors, I too fell for her. I was a simple and decent guy...though I am still the same now. There were many things to say to her, many to express; but I failed at every single time.

I did propose to her in class eight. She then simply brushed it off. I simply didn't muster enough courage to ask of her response. Her unimpressed eyes gave me the message.

"You are weak at heart" one of my friend told me that and it still rings a bell. But with her I can't help it. The force is strong here and I am hooked on to the feeling.

Days passed and then years...I tried to forget her; tried to concentrate more on studies. My friends tell me she is lost. Her phone number was not reachable. Orkut, Facebook, nothing seems to be working. I couldn't find her. However we happened to meet again. One text changed everything again. The feeling rushed in like a storm and I was inclined to her...again.

Then again I pulled out a blunder...I spoke my heart out...again. Why is it that I fall for the same girl every time. Our relationship strangled and there was utter silence for the next year. I was determined now to kill the thought. Everything was going on well...I got a job got into a project that was practically the best the market can offer.

"One notification...hmm...a friend request"

Daily facebook seems boring but I do the same routine after returning from office. Watching trailers, reading hilarious confessions. It's all there!

Aisha...why now? My mind was perplexed but I was calm,relaxed for I accepted the fate. Regardless of the fact I accepted the request.

Me: "You don't feel awkward right...like we taking to each other?"

Aisha: "If I would've been in your place, I would have done the same thing."

"I know you far better than anyone"

I felt embarrassed at first but a month later I felt comfortable. The feeling of sharing my accomplishments, my experiences with her made me happy.

It was Kali ( a goddess in the Hindu religion) puja. We were on Skype and she showed me the blue sari she wore that day.

"This is for puja"

"You look...." I stopped for a moment. I had never seen her in a sari before and my god she looked fantastic in it. The color was a perfect match for her smooth cream skin.

Aisha:"It's my first time...tell me it's ok"

Me: "Ok? it's beautiful...you look amazing"

Aisha: "He he...thanks..I was supposed to wear it before a prospective groom. Ha!"

Me: "Groom? Oh..."

Yes...I know...it's that crushing feeling. I know that she may never be mine but still it hurts.I continued...

"Giving trails...wow!"  faking the smile that I don't want too.

Aisha(laughing): "Don't you pull my leg...I am not ready to do it now."

Me: "But eventually you will do it right?"

Aisha: "and what does that mean?" 

I shouldn't have said that...I realized it only after I blurted those words out.

Me: "Aare it's nothing re..."

Aisha: "Hmm..."

We talked very little after that. The chat ended. Soon after I received her message

"You don't have to feel sad...I know. I am sorry for that" 

Just then the call from the office came...

"Avinash Bhaaiii...issue aa gaya...jaldi aao!"

("There is an issue...come fast")

"Yes sure...aata hun"
("Sure...coming")

A week passed and I was still unable to shake it off. She knows...of course she does!

Your love may be pure, you know that you may be the only one that will give her all the happiness. But that does not mean that she should love you too. She has her own agenda, her own line of thinking. That's what being human is. It's completely logical, law of nature they say.

14th November, it's Children's day. This was my last night shift for the week. Night shifts have it's advantages too...like you get the chance to see the early morning sun when everyone is sleeping..being cozy on their beds...in the cold weather. He he...I know!

I was having lunch when I got Aisha's call. I looked at the phone and pondered: Why now? I picked it up. She seemed not well...I can tell her by her voice

"Anticipate the day as if it was your birthday and you are turning six again" 

.........

Aisha:"I visited you once...it's time for you to visit me!"

Me:"What happened?"

Aisha: "I got typhoid...went to doctor and he confirmed it"

Me: "God...that's bad."

Aisha: "I am lonely here and suffering and you say only bad?"

Me(getting irritated): "So you think I don't want to come or what?"

Aisha(coughing and laughing): "Aare it's ok...the doctor told it's only a mild one"

Me: "It's always mild in the beginning...I had one too remember?"

Aisha(shocked): "Heii...is it...god!"

I continued with my general advice out of my own experience. Yes it was not mild now...it has superseded so much so that she had to get injection for that. I felt pity on her. There's nothing I can do here...I can only give her calm words. How things shape...it's really awkward.

I may not get what I love the most but I will always wish to see you happy cause that's all I ever wanted.

Get well soon Aisha...

Minutes of Meeting

The best thing is mother of your crush being your next door neighbour....and then she says: "Kabhi kabhi ghaar aaya bhi karo (visit my home sometimes)"

Well yeah aunty…sure!

It so happened one fine morning. Month of October 2013 and I don’t have a job. Technically I had one which I never joined; but then at the end of the day it is either 0 or 1. My routine was to regularly wake up and within eight to go straight to my books…dive into the ocean of knowledge. I was practically reading everything. From newspaper articles, editorials, current affairs then slog quants, graphs, and mug up tough words for which simple words seemed more appropriate.

“This is the way…the only way” the erudite team used to say. I was like every clueless boy chasing the mighty CAT and if not then IIFT, SNAP, XAT for sure (ha!).

Waking up from irritating and persistent noise is a pain in itself. The truck’s glaring horn was killing me now. Fed up from this I got down from my bed and then went straight to the balcony to see what in the hell was happening. 

Hmmm….seems like new family is moving in, near my place. Couldn't they do that quietly?  

The address: 19/8/4…ok…that’s Mukherjee uncle’s place. Mukherjee uncle was a very rich businessman and in coming years if I am not wrong, would become the manager of sales of a very reputed FMCG company. Being a permanent resident of Delhi, he visited rarely once a year or two and it was a matter of time when he would sell the property to someone else.

"New Neighbors!" My elder sister was quite excited. I really have no idea why she should be. They could turn out to be very boring guys.

"Arnab, bring me these from the market please" my mother handed me a long list of items. Now those would be quite heavy; But there will be change and I know what to do with that money. Ha!

"Hey move that there...don't scratch it, I won't pay you if  there is any scratch on those"

Damn...aunt; whoever you are just chill ! My soon to be neighbor aunt seems like an imposing figure. Maybe she is a bit frightening too like the way her husband was standing near her...quietly watching the commotion being absolutely clueless of whats happening. Maybe her "aura" made him like that.

Now I am going to have an annoying neighbor. Sigh! I went to the market and returned back. My sister had already gone to meet her new neighbors. I was not even interested. I had SIMCAT's to attend to. My routine was to leave home by eleven in the morning and return by eight at night. Rather than sitting at home and contemplating about my future, it's better to act on it.

There are words defined by devil that blows my mind. I mean why would one communicate with one another using those mindboggling words? Even use them in sentences. But then there is the "competition".

SIMCAT's high scorers are considered as the next IIM guys...rest assured I was not one of them. I am the guy of which no one cares about-the ordinary guy scoring ordinary marks. Hey! I too had promise in the beginning of the course but in the middle of the journey I faced the reality. Anyway I got 76 percentile...my personal high score and the faculty was finally seeing some improvement.

"Arnab...two months are left and you need to pick yourself up you know" and the session continued...detailed schedule..regular feedback and all.

"I am going to make it" everyone dreams of it...me too...and I am still dreaming.

I left the center with loads of assignments to be completed in the weekends.No pressure...not at all!

Buses are packed up from six to eight as most employees leave office around this time. Great!
Pushing through the masses I hardly got in the bus...hanging like a thread sewn to the bus handle. Conductor shouting at top of his voice..."Sadan, Pts, Tolltax...". No more please...now only the roof is left. Fortunately I got inside after some stops but that were to my dismay didn't last long. I was told to leave the bus.

I can explain. The bus was full and I was helpless to get a hold off a bar to stand properly. Just then the driver pushed the break very hard. Physics is a bitch. My balance gave in to the momentum. I was pushed in the forward direction. I could see the impending danger before me: a girl. She including the elders would never realize that it was none of my fault. Exactly! Bam... and the target's been hit.The moment of the girl seemingly at my age or maybe younger than me looking at me with her red eyes terrified me.

 "Ki hocche ta ki eita?"

("What the hell is this?")

And then there are those guys just waiting for something to happen.

"Osshobho chele...baap ma kono shikkha deyni?"

("Insolent Boy...didn't your parents teach you anything?")

Wow! I mean how one thing changes to another...mere inertia cost me my respect...turned me in to the scoundrel of the bus which ultimately led to the bus door from which I had to shamefully exit. No one was there to help me out nor was I able to make them understand that it wasn't exactly not my fault. What a day!

My sister texts me where are you? I am in nowhere...

I waited for thirty more minutes to catch another bus which was by god's grace had very little passengers in it. Were was I wrong? But I felt bad too...hey the girl was cute...very cute, had a very small white bindi on her forehead....damn I love those. Her being angry doesn't suit her. I think the girl didn't even intend to escalate the situation to that level. But she didn't help either...I was there to explain...but did she listen...nooo...filled with her arrogance let me leave the bus. Damn you are equally guilty!

My sister texts me again..."What is taking so long? Our neighbours are here.."

Oh no...that lady again...and her sorry husband...please...I would rather prefer quants over it. I could here faint laughs from a distance as I was near my home. What they are laughing at? The lady jokes too? Wow!

Just then when everything was all funny...there was some hush...now the place got a little strange. I was entering the front door ready to be exposed to the beings I call neighbors.

"He is here...meet my son..Arnab!" 

Like a good host I was sat there saying hi hello to uncle and aunt. But that figure which now came from the washroom nearby froze me too death. Youuuu!! My mind was screaming by shock of seeing her...the girl in the bus. You are supposed to be my neighbour? I looked puzzled...then the aunt cleared the air.

"She is my daughter...Varsha"

Like mother...same to same...I now got it how she got that angry face. She first looked at me and then just chuckled like nothing happened. Girl just toying with me...smooth. What happened after that was very uncomfortable to me. I coudn't even look up to her properly...and there she was having all the fun in her life.

"Janen kakima...aajkal bus e lok ra onek osshobho. Thik bhabe darate parena...khali badrami kore shara rastae..."

("You know aunty...nowadays guys in bus are very irresponsible...everytime doing nonsense") 

Can you just believe that? She just played that card on me...fortunately the topic didn't last long. Just bury the damn thing...I cannot take this more. After some time they were leaving...and I was still not doing eye to eye with her. 

The opening line may seem contradictory to my story but it's all in the making...you will know why.

While leaving she told me one thing: "I know you didn't intend to...I'm sorry...It was fun though. You are such a good boy. I like them"

Me:"All of this maybe fun to you...but not for me". For a girl that cute...her arrogance will be her downfall. I certainly didn't take that well. She got the message.

"I will join Erudite next week...will it be too much too ask if you join me?"

My sister replied: "Why not...he will love it. Anyways he won't bother you too much...bit of a shy guy around girls."

This time too I had no say...I was being tired now. I had a rough day today and practically had no interest in my neighbors especially her...though I like her cuteness. There's a different thing about it. I should not think much. I am straying away from my focus...I don't want to lose that.

My main concern is that I will wake up every morning knowing that there is a girl waiting to screw me again. She closed the gate...I was there. She smiled again.

"I visited your home...it's time for you to visit mine"

Nope...never ever!!

And the story continues...