Sunday, 28 February 2016

There goes thy Valentine



Oh Love...where have you been?

Swipe, swipe...oh yes...no...Not her...next...swipe.

Yep! Tinder

It says it is how people meet, like real life, but better. I don’t know how it does better...the reason; obviously...I don’t have a match yet.

Dating apps; I am new to them and so I have started having two of them from market-the android market per se.

I idea is quite logical and funny. You enter your profile like normal matchmaking/wedding sites (I have tried that) and then you get to see a lot of girls...he he. A lot!

Now thing is I am swiping at looking at profiles for quite some time. Swipe left...ohh...now she looks interesting...swipe right. Rule is that the one you swipe right to, should also swipe you correctly. Then only you get to initiate a talk and possibly a date.

It is quite an easy one right? You don’t have to hit the streets or wait for the one to arrive. Rather you have everything online. Just need the right clicks and ta da...

Yes I thought that too...and after fifty three right swipes, no one seems to swipe me the same way. It’s like those one-sided love stories where you just drool over a girl, love her unconditionally but the girl never likes you. In fact she just swipes you to the left!

Common guys...you must have had Tinder right?

“What is wrong with you?”

My friend says that to me. He seems to observe some change in me for quite some time which is kind of unsettling him. Funny...cause when I ask him the same question he just replies “Life happened”

You have got to kidding me! Isn’t this February?

My mom says I need to focus. Well how do I explain mom that I am focusing. Just that the direction is somewhere else right now. Wink.

I am a Bengali and I mentioned February. Yes I know February...that treacherous midday of the month which arrives every damn year, consistently reminding me of my relationship status. And then there comes the eventful Saraswati Puja which again serves that awful package-Valentine’s day. Twice...twice in a single month

“Hey shall we go for practice tomorrow morning?”

                “No man...that is propose day. I have to make preparations for my girlfriend”

All I have is to give that dumb face of mine. I go to my room and plug in my earphones still thinking about the dumbest thing I ever heard. It is not only me right? I mean like common!

***

“Dude, you need to calm down”

That is my friend I talked about previously; only that this conversation happened before that.

Me: “I am calm”

“Why don’t you date girls...complete random girls?”

Me: “Seriously...you are giving me dating tips?”

“Yes I am”

Me: “I am not quite interested in right now”

“hmm...so what will you do from now huh?”

Me: “There are other things apart from love. Career, you forgot about career, money?”

“Ha ha ha”

Me: “Now what is there to laugh on?”

“It is quite hilarious of what you are saying”

Me: “Completely logical. Love is a complete waste of time”

“You know she won’t come back right?”

After a brief pause...

Me: “Why do you have to say that?”

“Just saying...good for you now...besides it’s about time”

Me: “Time for what?”

“About what you should have done in college!”

Me: “Why don’t you die?”

“ha ha...come over to my place. We will party the whole night and drinks is on me”

Me: “I don’t drink”

“You lying bastard. Get your ass over to my place”

Have you ever looked at my face? Do I ever look like I could ever touch alcohol?

Yes...the answer is no, I don’t...drink. Wink.

***

“Bro, this girl looks good”

                “She is only 5 feet 4. Nope”

“What about this girl?”

                “Nah...Her eyes seem off”

“Seriously? Her eyes seem off? You will die alone”

                “Database refreshes minute”

“Alright...then the hunt is on!”

Just in case I am in a risk of losing a date I would mention that it is just the story. Yeah...you should completely believe that with certain conviction.


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