Get Well Soon

"Anticipate the day as if it was your birthday and you are turning six again"

"And why would I do that?"

"Just think na (coughs)"

"Umm...ok...accha done"

"So...what do feel?"

It was a brief pause...how to anticipate what's already happened to us before and it will never come back! It was illogcal but you can't say that to 'her'. I think she anticipated my inanticipation and she continued..

"You are the dumbest guy in the world! oh...(coughing)"

"Are you ok ?...you seem not so well"

There's always an escape point from an argument. Remember even the mightiest of warriors have that tiny weakness in their armor.

"Like you care...no calls...even no Whatsapp for days...what is it?"

"For that I am really sorry...I was into some pressure in office...had to do extra night shifts"

"Hmm..."

Whatever problem you tell her she seems not satisfied. Aisha is her name.

We met at school.I don't remember the exact time but it was around, in the middle of academic year of class seven. She was beautiful, irresistibly hot and hence like every other classmate and seniors, I too fell for her. I was a simple and decent guy...though I am still the same now. There were many things to say to her, many to express; but I failed at every single time.

I did propose to her in class eight. She then simply brushed it off. I simply didn't muster enough courage to ask of her response. Her unimpressed eyes gave me the message.

"You are weak at heart" one of my friend told me that and it still rings a bell. But with her I can't help it. The force is strong here and I am hooked on to the feeling.

Days passed and then years...I tried to forget her; tried to concentrate more on studies. My friends tell me she is lost. Her phone number was not reachable. Orkut, Facebook, nothing seems to be working. I couldn't find her. However we happened to meet again. One text changed everything again. The feeling rushed in like a storm and I was inclined to her...again.

Then again I pulled out a blunder...I spoke my heart out...again. Why is it that I fall for the same girl every time. Our relationship strangled and there was utter silence for the next year. I was determined now to kill the thought. Everything was going on well...I got a job got into a project that was practically the best the market can offer.

"One notification...hmm...a friend request"

Daily facebook seems boring but I do the same routine after returning from office. Watching trailers, reading hilarious confessions. It's all there!

Aisha...why now? My mind was perplexed but I was calm,relaxed for I accepted the fate. Regardless of the fact I accepted the request.

Me: "You don't feel awkward right...like we taking to each other?"

Aisha: "If I would've been in your place, I would have done the same thing."

"I know you far better than anyone"

I felt embarrassed at first but a month later I felt comfortable. The feeling of sharing my accomplishments, my experiences with her made me happy.

It was Kali ( a goddess in the Hindu religion) puja. We were on Skype and she showed me the blue sari she wore that day.

"This is for puja"

"You look...." I stopped for a moment. I had never seen her in a sari before and my god she looked fantastic in it. The color was a perfect match for her smooth cream skin.

Aisha:"It's my first time...tell me it's ok"

Me: "Ok? it's beautiful...you look amazing"

Aisha: "He he...thanks..I was supposed to wear it before a prospective groom. Ha!"

Me: "Groom? Oh..."

Yes...I know...it's that crushing feeling. I know that she may never be mine but still it hurts.I continued...

"Giving trails...wow!"  faking the smile that I don't want too.

Aisha(laughing): "Don't you pull my leg...I am not ready to do it now."

Me: "But eventually you will do it right?"

Aisha: "and what does that mean?" 

I shouldn't have said that...I realized it only after I blurted those words out.

Me: "Aare it's nothing re..."

Aisha: "Hmm..."

We talked very little after that. The chat ended. Soon after I received her message

"You don't have to feel sad...I know. I am sorry for that" 

Just then the call from the office came...

"Avinash Bhaaiii...issue aa gaya...jaldi aao!"

("There is an issue...come fast")

"Yes sure...aata hun"
("Sure...coming")

A week passed and I was still unable to shake it off. She knows...of course she does!

Your love may be pure, you know that you may be the only one that will give her all the happiness. But that does not mean that she should love you too. She has her own agenda, her own line of thinking. That's what being human is. It's completely logical, law of nature they say.

14th November, it's Children's day. This was my last night shift for the week. Night shifts have it's advantages too...like you get the chance to see the early morning sun when everyone is sleeping..being cozy on their beds...in the cold weather. He he...I know!

I was having lunch when I got Aisha's call. I looked at the phone and pondered: Why now? I picked it up. She seemed not well...I can tell her by her voice

"Anticipate the day as if it was your birthday and you are turning six again" 

.........

Aisha:"I visited you once...it's time for you to visit me!"

Me:"What happened?"

Aisha: "I got typhoid...went to doctor and he confirmed it"

Me: "God...that's bad."

Aisha: "I am lonely here and suffering and you say only bad?"

Me(getting irritated): "So you think I don't want to come or what?"

Aisha(coughing and laughing): "Aare it's ok...the doctor told it's only a mild one"

Me: "It's always mild in the beginning...I had one too remember?"

Aisha(shocked): "Heii...is it...god!"

I continued with my general advice out of my own experience. Yes it was not mild now...it has superseded so much so that she had to get injection for that. I felt pity on her. There's nothing I can do here...I can only give her calm words. How things shape...it's really awkward.

I may not get what I love the most but I will always wish to see you happy cause that's all I ever wanted.

Get well soon Aisha...