Everything we know, that you know,
comes in form of a story or ends up in me penning it down; to live forever.
Every moment is crucial, it’s
beautiful. Perhaps stories are mere narratives but at least I try to put in some
meaning to it. It is that mere narration that gives coherence to the confusion
of our experience.
Loving my explanations...aren’t
you? J
I am just trying a way of
creating a shape out of the mess, which I am full of. Perhaps it binds us
together.
***
How does it feel to blabber or
talk to oneself? I guess it works fine because I do the same all the time.
Yes...I do feel lonely.
Ba da ba ba da ba ba da
Ba da ba ba da ba ba da
“You don’t have to believe me”
“Nah...I guess its fine”
“Shit! I guess I was dreaming again”
“But what’s wrong in it?”
“Yeah right”
“Seriously what’s wrong?
Another day like always”
“Arghh...why does it have to be this day?”
“Be calm be calm....it has
not arrived yet”
They say to smile in the mirror.
Do that every morning and you’ll start to see a big difference in your life.
“So why I am not smiling?”
“Smmmiileeee”
the cheeks extended till the point of tension with all teethes visible quite
beautifully.
“Eeehh”
“Oh...What’s that?”
The canine teeth had a striate of
the chicken she had last night. She struggled with her tongue to get it out.
“Ahh...nice” and she ate it.
“Eeehh”
“Smiling see”
She looked at herself for quite
some time. Her face has more content here than any other place.
Beep beep
The cell phone rang upon
receiving messages.
***
He: “It’s just a matter of some hours”
She: “Doesn’t matter much...any other day for me”
He: “But not for me” You can place similes here ;)
She: “I am getting old”
He: “So? We all are”
She: “And fat”
He: “Oho...who told you are fat? You are just fine and cuddly”
She smiles...and then replies.
She: “So cuddle me nah”
There was a bit of silence but
then he replies.
He: “I should have been there now”
She: “Aww...it is okay honey”
He: “Not okay okay but kind of because it has to...damn”
She smiles even more.
He: “I will call at least five or ten minutes ago otherwise your line will
be found busy then”
She (smiling): “So sweet of you but don’t worry no one
remembers anyway”
He: “Seriously? No one does?”
She: “Every year same story”
He laughs at it.
He: “At least I remember”
She: “Oh...you should!”
He: “Ahh...Is it?”
She (smiling): “Yes absolutely...else I will fight with you”
He: “Yes please”
***
“I hate this phone”
She went to check her phone. Bank
messages...credit card statements...argh!
It is quite funny when you were
expecting something but end up getting something else entirely.
Yes...it is
very disappointing.
I was told “You can’t get everything you want!” Well...when do I? Faltering every time and looking
up expecting that this time
everything will be alright. But then again!
Wait wait...you are getting this
story right? It’s a birthday story which is quite different considering the
fact that the title is so obvious.
How does it feel to be wanted and
not wanted at the same time? Peculiar...Yes
Expectation of a certain
occurrence is sometimes naive but it is not always the case; for you had cared
for every possible person you are with but you don’t get the same in return.
“Same story every year?”
She laughs at what she just
uttered. She laughs when she panics.
***
“Happy Birthday”
If I could talk to
you now,
fix my gaze on your face,
or rest in your unwavering embrace,
I wouldn't let go
fix my gaze on your face,
or rest in your unwavering embrace,
I wouldn't let go
I love this line from the moment
I wrote it. Do you?
So apart from all the confusion
above which you might have understood eventually, what do you do on your
birthday?
Ever wondered how wonderful it
was in our childhood to wait for the eventful day to arrive for our lives. So
jubilant we were...weren’t we?
But now on a funny note, I guess
the birthday is a reminder that it is one year closer to death. Note that I am talking
of what many think of these days. Not my personal thought anyway...because it
doesn’t matter.
But well...still miles to go
before we sleep.
Ahh...depressing stories...he he he.
I write what I feel but yes thank you for patiently reading
this.
2016 is coming...and I
hope we can make a fresh start!
But not without you...
Isn’t it quite
obvious?
Fairy tales end. Love
stories don't.

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