A Hundred Meters

Last night I was wide awake, for the perennial anxiety did not let me sleep.

Have you ever been in a time when there is fear all around and you don’t know what to fear exactly? Well, for me, it is just as hard to comprehend. Perhaps it is all due to being amidst these trying times. I made myself believe so.

The words circled in my brain, like a loop, spinning all the time, those of which I tried to debunk at first, but slowly has grown into me. Now, I just cannot un-see its existence, the crisis is real. Or perhaps I am just over reacting.

At this time, who wouldn’t? is all I can apprise myself.

Me, myself, being by myself; cause that’s all what is there to say and feel right now.

Waking up on a cold bed, from sleepless nights and cigarettes, I just couldn’t perceive that this feeling would ever occur to me. We talk every day, but now that is just not enough. Yet, I fear that if I ever come close to you, your heart would go sick from the tar on my lips.

They say that after when all this is over, we would perhaps become better human beings, learn something new. But I know that apart from talking to you, I would only be engrossed into my daily dose of Internet. What a natural disaster!

Standing at the window, peering over to the other side of the road, I look over to that familiar sight of yours, doing what has now become your daily chore. Those activities might be same for you but I might have never noticed them before, hence I stay engrossed in them for long. And you there from afar would look at me, catching me in the act and would show me faces that would make me laugh. If only I could be there with you right now!

I should probably get some help, because this is at times ridiculous; to be so far, yet be so close. But then I feel where would I go during this time rather than to stay locked in my home? With this state, I can't control myself. Yes, I'm addicted to the hell. Oh, baby, yes, you are so bad for my health.

So, I took out my guitar to sing our only song. Sitting by the window I strum some lines, hoping that you would be able to hear those words of mine. Leaning on the frame, I see you looking at me still, assuring me that it will all be alright.

Struggling to say those words to you, my heart cries them out to you saying I miss you.

And in your reassuring eyes and that luring smile of yours you would say I miss you too.

I miss you by my side, the distance feels like miles.

The distance between you and I, is at a hundred meters long. A hundred meters which has never felt so far.

Credits: ivanoski